I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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