why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
