haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
