how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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