Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
