Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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