is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
