Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
