Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So many bounce houses so little time
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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