Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
