Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize