Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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