did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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