My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
