WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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