I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
