listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
