If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize