Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
