All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
