In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I will pee on everything he values.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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