When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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