Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize