community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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