Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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