There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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