naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
