I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize
