it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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