we have officially lost it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
