so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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