You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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