I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
