Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
