whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
