this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
