dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
