I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
