I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
