shes about as inviting as chlamydia
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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