i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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