I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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