So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
