it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
