he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Randomize
