Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
