I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I bet he comes in French.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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