This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I touched a dick in church today
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
