haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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