Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
operation harelip BJ is a go
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
