she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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