hell yes lets make some ravioli
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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