I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
