One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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