She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he thought i was a dude.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
whose ass print is on the piano?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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