No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
