My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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