How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
