You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
