i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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