he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize