she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
