so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
