I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
