I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
