Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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